Parked Out - a temporary situation which occurs when there is no more room left for cars in the main lot, forcing patrons to walk long distances to enter the track.
Post Parade - an annual tribute given by the track, on behalf of the United States Postal Service.
Tote Board - a place where, during inclement weather, racegoers may hang their booties to dry during the racing program.
Hung - a term which describes a male horse with particularly large genitalia.
Blindswitch - when the driver of a heavy favorite get mace sprayed in his face prior to the race, and is switched onto a 90-1 shot.
Boxed - when a driver who does not wish to win intentionally places himself on the rail with dead horses all around him.
Shuffled - what happens to all your pages in your program and other papers when a big gust of wind comes along.
Bottomed Out - Describes most fields at Pocono Downs by the time they reach the 3/4 mile marker.
Dueling - post race procedure where two drivers square off in fisticuffs after pissing each other off during the race.
Covered - usually done during winter racing, so the horses don’t get too cold during the race.
Uncovered - usually done during summer racing, where horses are too hot and hence, do not need cover.
Blocked - when throngs of idle bystanders gather in the isle as you race up and attempt to make a last minute wager.
Photo Finish - often flashed on the totalizator board to induce unneeded anxiety and anticipation in the bettors when the results are obvious to the naked eye.
Brush - a term used describe the various weeds which grow around the edge of the track.
Even Money - when one places wagers in even denominations, such as $2, $4, etc.
Odds On - when all lights on the infield board are functioning properly.
Exacta - wagering opportunity offered where bettor sees two horses who stick out like a sore thumb and is suckered into betting on both of them.
Long Shot - used to describe the winning chances of drivers such as Willie Mitchell, Syl King, etc.
Chalk - Used at the cafeteria to indicate the soup du jour and tonight’s specials.
Perfecta - generally synonymous with "exacta" used at ho-dunk tracks with average attendance of under 100.
Trifecta - when you attempt to hold 3 different items on the minuscule tray they give you at the snack counter.
Superfecta - when you attempt to hold 4 different items on the minuscule tray they give you at the snack counter.
Super-Duper-fecta - a wager where the bettor picks, in order, the entire finish of the race for all horses entered.
Breaking - what happens when a piece of equipment, such as a headpole, is not longer operational.
First Over - In an accident, this is the first driver to be thrown headfirst over the other horses.
Second Over - Usually the next horse back, this driver tumbles over all in front of him during a mishap.
Pocket - where the winning driver stashes his wagering vouchers so that nobody can see them.
Daily Double - term used to describe 2 pieces of pizza which become stuck together because the track is too cheap to give you a separate plate for each.
Odds - A mathematical computation done in such a way as to hide the true amount of bettors money that is being taken from them, by the track.
Sulky - a term describing the mood of a bettor after an extremely poor night.
Morning Line - random numbers generated by a computer, displayed on the program to confuse unwary readers.
Scratched - what happens to a horse who has too many mosquito bites on him before the race.
Lifetime Mark - what some other horse manages to come up with everytime my friend Tom makes a big bet.
Looped - what most drivers get after leaving the track.
Backstretch - An action done by patrons who, after sitting in the wooden seats for over 2 hours, stand up and attempt to reduce pain in their spines.
Lines - refers to vast numbers of racegoers who desire food simultaneously when there is only one server.
3-wide - Describes width of horse when an extremely overweight driver is at the helm.
Inquiry - When judges need extra time to count bribes from drivers before determining whether they will let the results stand.
Objection - protest issued by drivers when, after reviewing the finish of the race, they discover that none of their tickets are good.
Hobbles - word used to describe the way many cheap claimers walk.
Speed Rating - a determination as to the level of illegal, performance enhancing drugs that are present in the horses system before post time.
Copyright © Kimstarr Communications, 1997